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But to get things started, someone has to make the first move. In the physical world, maybe that means a subtle wink. Or presenting the other with an elaborately carved spoon. Traditionally, men take the initiative.

On OkCupid however, women and men exhibit similar behavior when it comes to liking, browsing and having conversations. The playing field is also pretty even: there are 1. These women are progressive too, with 43 percent of women preferring to split the check compared to 17 percent of men.

Yet there is one crucial way in which women fail to take the lead. Most women — regardless of sexual orientation — do not send the first message, with straight woman 3. So we asked ourselves: why are ladies — in particular, straight women — less likely to spark a conversation? At first, we thought that women could be more passive because they get a lot of attention.

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Some are sincere. Others are direct references to penises. Rarely do the two collide:.

So how does the quantity of messages received affect women? Shockingly, no. On the contrary, men initiate no matter what, and the more messages they receive, the more they send.

Generally speaking: young or old, your outboxes are empty. Men, however, message most between the ages of 20 to No matter how attractive a woman appears, we see similar messaging behavior. Perhaps they enjoy basking in the glory of being one of the elitely attractive. Women rarely reach out, no matter their circumstances.

How to have more fun while online dating

Yet doing this research unlocked a secret — the OkCupid ecosystem actually puts women at a huge attractiveness. To put a on it, men are reaching Okcupid to women 17 percentile points more attractive, and women contact men who are 10 percentile points more attractive.

This means that if a woman does nothing, her inbox will be filled with less attractive men. If a woman sends the first message, everything changes in her favor. In fact, women are 2. So if you typically wait to be approached, you could elevate your game by about 12 percent points blog by sending the first message.

Those sending the first message are already getting. If all women sent more messages, would they get more responses? The odds are in your favor. Want to be a part of this report, and future ones?

Written by Kelly Cooper. Data Science by Dale Markowitz. Header illustration by Shawna X. Deed by Shane Zucker. Give OkCupid. Medium is an open platform where million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface.

How we can use science to date smarter

Learn more. If you have a story to tell, knowledge to share, or a perspective to offer — welcome home. Start a blog. in. The secret to success for women on OkCupid? Sending the first message. OkCupid Follow. The OkCupid Blog Follow.

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